Whenever I walk my pets, people are like, "GIMME THOSE!!@!#1!!$!"

page break

2009-09-24T14:32:18Z

so i get lots of work to take home on this internship, meaning i'm reading every spare second i get. we don't get much sci-fi, but we do get a lot of YA and fantasy submissions, so can you just imagine the heaven i'm in? i'm reduced to a gooey mush! i'm unpaid but still, it's my job to read this stuff.

i love reading. and i love what i'm reading.

and i also love "researching," which means spending hours at bookstores checking out the competition, reading first chapters of books in the different genres. so far, i've familiarized myself with mysteries/thrillers, YA, romance, and historical fiction, since those were my past assignments. no sci-fi but next time, i'll def just see what's up for my own interest...

i just have so many questions, i wanna learn everything! O Wise One, teach me the ways of literary management. Make me your little protege. You won't regret it, I promise!

and is it just me or does the birthday cake on the LiVEJOURNAL banner make your mouth water too?! this poverty-induced diet is going to have me and Gren begging on the streets in no time. usually, Gren gets a 30-50% cut of whatever I eat, and lately he's been really annoyed, begging for food we don't have. I'm like, "Gren! Do you see me eating?! There's nothing to eat! At least you have your dog food!" At this rate, I'm the one who's going to be asking for scraps of his Eukanuba and Milkbone :(

~Jo-dee-ta

HOY!

2009-09-23T01:48:33Z

so the first major project for this comedy class is to write a one-act play and i am SO excited because i'll get to make characters and dialogue and everything! AND THEN on the train home i came up with this great idea: I CAN MAKE IT A MUSICAL!

you know, like with music!

so i need to start brainstorming a theme, and scenarios, and characters and then start making songs and lyrics. W00T.

also, i love my internship even though it's working my butt off. i'm learning so much. lovelvoelove :)

and also, it's official that i only get 1 hr of sleep every monday night in preparation for all the work due tuesday. and only 3 hrs sleep on thurs for fri's work. but lack of sleep actually makes me alert and happy. i could barely contain my giddiness today!

and finally, due to lack of funds, i don't eat much. today i had 600 calories of food. i'm ravenous, and finished a foot-long meatball hero in 6 minutes. this proved to be enough to prevent my transformation into a mean hungry bitch.

recap: decrease in sleep makes jude happy.
decrease in food makes jude kill people.

why, hello there...

2009-09-19T01:05:04Z

I. 3 hrs sleep last night. you think this hard work will pay off one day?

II. Walked home from the train at 730pm in my business attire. felt pretty cool as I passed by the young whippersnappers in line for the movie theatre. HA! movies. who has time for THAT nowadays?

III. Get home. Don't have keys. Empty house. Brother's cell phone is always off and kept in his room. Spent 30 min trying to break into my house. Picture this: girl in dress and heels climbing banisters, struggling with windows, and THEN this is the best part: stacking all the bricks and garbage cans, balancing on the edge of the can to hoooooooooiiiist herself up onto the fence. it was a very precarious situation, straddling that rickety wooden fence. I broke one of the tips of the fence and scraped my ass on the way down. So I can't exactly see what's going on back there, but I think i have this cut on the back of my thigh, and who knows how many splinters are buried in my ass.

So now i'm in the backyard, liberating Gren. I tie a wire to his collar and use that as a leash as I try to break into the back windows/door of my house. The basement window is easily opened, but too small for me to squeeze into. The door, my last hope, is locked. Godfuckingdamnitmutherfucker.

So we circle back to the front and I'm tiptoeing on the railing again (in heels cuz I didn't want to take them off or else I'd be stepping on the RUSTY railing and might get tetanus!!!) and i'm pushing and shoving this window and finally, I make a tiny incision where the little stub is on the inside so maybe i can open it that way. But my father, my brilliant father, made the house SO thief-proof that he nailed the screen in place. So I said, fuck it and just ripped the whole screen open, a giant vertical gash and just stepped through into my house. I was so angry, that I almost broke a window just for the hell of it. Just smash everything. And my brother's car. How much you wanna bet that my dad and bro won't ever notice the gash in the screen?

My favorite part in all this is that we live across from this apartment building, where a robber must live cuz there's lots of robberies on my street, so someone is def peering through one of the many windows, keeping tabs on us. I really hope he enjoyed & learned something from watching me break into my own house.

IV. Then I took Gren out for a date at pizza hut and we split a family order of breadsticks, eating it outside.

V. Friday night 9pm. Time to hit the books.

three words:

2009-09-16T03:53:31Z

elitist, misanthropic cannibal.

I was thinking of becoming vegetarian on Saturday when I saw the dude from Man vs. Wild kill a pig on TV (whyyyy would he do that?! so unnecessary), but then I had to concede that I can't live without meat. And today, something happened in class that made me realize that I should just satisfy my daily serving of protein with the meat of dumb humans.

Trust me, I'd love to explain what exactly happened in class, but see, I'm trying to rise above it. It doesn't matter. She's a moron. So is most of the world. So now I'm a cannibal. End of story.

jujubeantea @ 2009-09-13T11:59:00

2009-09-13T16:24:07Z

things to do today:
-80 pgs of history textbook
-start at least 1 book on Lolita
-finish reading the unpublished manuscript for my internship
-watch Dr. Strangelove for history class
-walk Gren
-do dishes

So I'm up to the first thing on that list, but I can't concentrate. I'm stuck in a daydream of what would happen if I could relive my life from 3rd grade and on knowing everything I know now. And all these forgotten details from my childhood are washing up and for a few seconds here and there, I'm convinced that my mom is still alive and she's bustling around in the house and will poke her head in my room any second. Mostly, I'm brought back to reality when I want to ask her a random question, like "Why did I stop taking piano lessons with Inez and switch to Maggie? Was it because she became too busy? Or she kept increasing her price? Or did we just think it was time to learn from someone else?" And now I'll never know because no one knows the answer to that except my mom. She knew little details about my past that my dad was never even aware of, and my siblings definitely don't know either. She's got this key to me and my past and now it's just gone.

If I could go back, it would be awesome because little Jude would tell Mom to get her breasts checked with a sonogram each year, even if insurance doesn't cover it, because mammograms aren't accurate. I mean, they probably are for 99% of the female population, but for some reason, some glitch in the universe, my mom had the obscure variant of breast cancer that slipped by for years undetected by mammograms. The cancer cells grew in sheets, in layers, rather than dense clumps or cysts. So when it was finally found, she was already in stage 3 or 4. So if I could, 8-year-old Jude would nag her mom and make damnfuckingsure that she got sonograms for her breasts, even though doctors and insurance companies would probably insist that a mammogram is enough. And if somehow, the laws of fate forbid me from saving my mom from death, then at least 8-year-old Jude would know that she only has 11 more years with her mother, so I'd savor each time we crossed the street holding hands, each meal, each fight, each...

Her cooking. That's another thing that I'll never taste. How many recipes have gone with her to the grave?

While driving home from rob's last night, I was also convinced for a few seconds that she was still alive. What if I just pretend that she is? What's the harm in that? I'll just tell myself she went to the Philippines to visit her relatives for awhile.

I like writing about her. I wrote about her for one of the assignments for my prose poetry/flash fiction class, and I really really liked reading and editing it. Because each time I re-read it, it was like she was alive. And I KNOW HOW TRITE THIS SOUNDS, the whole "it's like she's alive in my writing/songs blahblah her memory is kept alive" but I actually was transported to a time when she was still breathing. It felt amazing. I don't know, I could just feel it in my chest.

But stupid Time. Always forward forward forward, when I just want to go back. Or stand still.

And of course, if I went back, I wouldn't be selfish. I'd try to warn people about 9/11 too. And if the authorities don't listen, I'd call all the friends I've yet to meet who lost someone that day and tell them not to go into the city that day.

I don't like this. I don't like this at all.

close call

2009-09-05T03:57:18Z

Rather than tell you about my first day at my internship or my Friday classes, let me tell you this scary (but true) story that took place 25 minutes ago.

Since I was gone all day and I reneged on my promise to Gren to walk him in the park in the afternoon, I did the next best thing--treat him to a long walk at night (which I imagine is only half as fun as a day walk since dogs can't see that well to begin with) and make a new promise to bring him to the park tomorrow (this gets scary, I promise!). So at 10pm we set off and reach the border of the neighboring town (a sketchy area...you just got chills, I know) and man! we're tired. It was quite a trek for a senescent dog and a sleep-deprived human ( I only had 4 hours of sleep in the past 72 hours--a tough ratio of 1:18 hrs).

At last, we turn around and head back, with me, GrenFM, singing Gren's favorite tunes. It's a full moon out with not a human in sight, only crickets and shadows. Suddenly, Gren stops in his tracks and peers intently at something down the road. I squint too, but see nothing unusual. Then he turns around and bolts! Fast! It's super uncharacteristic of him to do this, especially since we were both just dragging our feet/paws with fatigue a second ago, and it's not like he was running to a tree or something as if he realized he forgot to piss on it. He was just running in the general direction of away. So I run after him without compunction, and he just keeps running and it really creeped me out how he kept glancing over his shoulder. So I look behind me too, afraid I might find the Erlkonig at our heels--I mean, I know I'm not a boy-child, and neither is Gren, but maybe the Erlkonig's preferences have evolved since the time of Goethe? Maybe they have heterosexual Erlkonigs or even Caniskonigs nowadays.

Anyway, I don't ask questions and we just backtrack our steps. Finally, Gren looks behind him then slows down and we take a long detour home. I don't even dare break the silence, that's how scared I was. But I trust Gren's instincts. Maybe he smelled a swarm of invisible cancer mosquitoes buzzing about. Or heard an unearthly growl, in tones so low it could only spell evil. Even back in Old Testament times, people knew that animals can sense things of other realms (see Baalam's Donkey).

I wonder...but maybe it's better that I don't know what lay ahead of us, and how close we were to falling into the maws of some dark trap. I told Gren that I wouldn't even be mad if he ran away from a genie ready to grant me three wishes. Because if he didn't think it was a good idea, it's probably best to stay away and not meddle with our lot (word on the street is genies just bungle up your wishes anyway). I think about this everyday, actually. Because my #1 wish would be to relive my life from 3rd grade (when I suspect my mom's cells began defying apoptosis) knowing everything I know now in order to avert my mom's death or at least to be the best daughter I could be. But what if McFate or Death demands the life of someone else? Like, if on Feb 13, 2009, everything went sweller than planned in the alternate life i've built and both my parents are still happily alive together and I never hurt my mom and I'm running around Eddy's expecting to bump into Rob at any second...any second now...only to find that there is no Rob. Not here, not anywhere. Oh my.

And by THAT time, of course I'd have used up my 3 wishes so my only choice is to study superphysics for decades and only when I'm a decrepit 87-year-old will I succeed in building a time machine. So I go back back back in time when both my mom and Rob were still around and I find baby Rob and burst into tears and embrace him and he'll just be like "WTF who's this old lady touching me?" and I'll suck at my toothless gums and croak a quote from Dracula, "I have crossed oceans of time to find you" then all of a sudden the effects of time travel will hit my frail body all in a rush and I'll drop dead and whisper, "I have always loved you...Robert..." and he'll just stand there staring down at the corpse of an old insane woman and walk away and live happily ever after with so-and-so or whats-her-face without the faintest notion of who I am or what we should've been.

In short, it's a good thing Gren ran away from that genie.

I wrote a song and I call it Yolanda.

2009-08-05T23:51:29Z

I don't know how to write songs, and I'm even worse with lyrics. Originally, the lyrics were "Grenny! Grenny!" x1000, but I figured only Gren would listen to it on his iPod, so I re-wrote the lyrics. The bass is there, i actually like the bass part a lot, but you can't really hear it since I only recorded it with my picture camera. But it's there, I swear. And the bell part is loud and overpowering, and I need to add more pauses and take my time between the diff sections, but yea. Here's what I got so far:

Hi Mom, do you like it? Does it make you cry? I know how much you like West Side Story's "Maria" and so now you have a song with your name in it, too :)

I know you in autumn, and I must be there

2009-08-05T01:52:46Z

I am in the mushiest mood ever, I think I'm going to explode. What am I to do?! I can't tell Rob, because...well, because!!

So I've downloaded 21 oldies so I can sing along and perhaps vent some of this @%#LOVE@$@#!!!!energy. Perhaps you saw me walking Gren tonight and boppin to these tunes:

Diana Ross & The Supremes - Can't Hurry Love (my fave right now lolz) i remember mama said! you can't hurry love, oh you just have to wait! she said jusssst give it time, no matter how long it takes!
Supremes - Baby Love
Dean Martin - That's Amore
Elvis - Can't Help Falling in Love
Barry White - Just the Way You Are
Beatles - And I Love Her
Patsy Cline - Crazy
Aretha Franklin - It's In His Kiss (keeskees kees)
Carpenters - Please Mr. Postman
Carpenters - Close to You
Audrey Hepburn - Moonriver
Robert Goulet - If Ever I Would Leave You (if ever i would leave you, it wouldn't be in summer. seeing you in summer, i never would go!!! oh no, not in springtime, summer, winter, or fall!)

sighhhhhhhweeeeeeeee<3333333

yea yea laugh all you want, but you have to admit, these are such fun songs!

oh and i caught myself humming the song i wrote! i think i'm ready to start working on it again :)

AND i'm sooo ready for part TROIS this weekend! w00t rob is coming over yayaya and john too maybe. my faves all under the same roof?! what what?

best wii game ever

2009-07-31T15:23:50Z

ear doctors are always the quirky doctors. they wear that big light belted to their foreheads, and they always say things like "okey dokey!" but today i managed to weird out even the weirdest of doctors.

he said "don't move. this will feel a little uncomfortable" as he inserted a long sharp object into my ear. i giggled and said i liked it. then when he told me to fill out a reminder postcard, i assured him that it was unnecessary since i'd never forget my annual trip to the ear doctor. to my brief confession of love, he only replied, "you're a special breed." i didn't even tell him how MUCH i love it, that i want to MARRY an ear doctor so he can play with my ears every night after dinner. hm. let's see if i can convince rob to get a phd in otolaryngology.

FACT

2009-07-22T15:54:41Z

"Of course he's dating an ugly girl. I think you can only go down the ladder after dating one of us."

Progress?

2009-07-17T21:23:55Z

i stayed up til 5am last night working on that song. dreamt about that song until 9am. then woke up and worked on it all day. Result: Song is completed in theory (except for the drums...). But I've played/listened to it so freakin much that i'm sick of it!!!!!!!!! I don't feel like recording all the separate instruments again. So yea, I suppose I wrote a song, but I have yet to make a finished mp3. But I don't ever want to LISTEN to that mp3 anyway, so should I even bother?

Maybe I should just forget it. And start a new song if I really want. This can be like, a practice one. And maybe the next will be better. It's pretty frustrating though. Will it really get easier? It's not like I know any music theory. I'm kinda just doing things blindly. LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE I TRY. oyyy

maybe i should just work on other things that come easier to me. like that surprise for rob i put on hold. k.

what to do

2009-07-16T13:20:11Z

i sat down yesterday intending to WRITE. but instead, i walk over to the piano and write a song (well, the intro, verse, and chorus of a song anyway). how am i ever going to get ANYTHING done when i'm so scatterbrained?!

so the song sounds pretty mellow, i've got the melody, the guitar, the bass, and the bells done so far. but now i need a drum part, and i suck so bad at drums, i'm stuck!!! and then i need to add a buildup and climax to the song. then lyrics, but i don't think the words part should be so hard. but here i am again, friggin stuck.

what have i accomplished? nothing.

then i went to the library and borrowed more books.

i also want to design and sew my own dress.

Gren says he wishes I'd just read. He hates it when I play drums. Especially at 8am. You really should see the look of resentment on his handsome litto doggy face.

Investing in a Paintball Gun

2009-07-09T23:07:27Z

Receive transmission:
I hate mockingbirds. This is the second time Gren and I have been attacked by one, and we were in a totally different town, too! We're just walking like la dee da, doot doo doo when suddenly this mockingbird makes like a kamikaze and swoops down at Gren! He doesn't notice, so the bird dives down AGAIN! And again! And the whole time, it's squawking, calling for backup so I start trying to swat at it with Gren's leash and staring it down like, "What! You wanna fight?!" But it just keeps calling its little bitchbuddies to help him out so I start walking again, and it's FOLLOWING us down the block all the way to the car! AND THEN it dives for my car three times! WTF MATE!?

Next time I see a mockingbird, I'mma preemptive strike its ass and kill/severely injure it, even if it doesn't attack us first. I fucking hate mockingbirds.

In other news, I cooked lobster for dinner today (a family friend gave them to us as payment since my dad, the grand master engineer, is tutoring him). They were already dead though, so I didn't have to kill it myself, thank goodness. Hopefully I cooked it right and we don't get sick and die.

Sorry to my vegetarian friends. I love animals, I do, just not when they're ambushing me and Gren. And I had to cook the lobsters! I'm the family cook now... Forgive me?

Oh! I'm working on a surprise for Rob right now. teeheehee can't wait!

p.s. SQUIRREL!!!!...we finally saw UP in 3D last night. it was AMAZING. i cried.

End transmission

Can anyone tell me why

2009-06-28T00:02:25Z

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz won the pulitzer? Diaz visited fordham this past semester and everyone raved about how great he was and online he's praised as one of the "most exciting voices of our time," and all this is just a mystery to me. So can someone please comment and tell me what I fail to see?

my fellow ro-bros,

2009-06-17T18:55:08Z

tagged by transparent_85

got the letter A

1 afk - pinback
2 abandon - french kicks
3 atlantique nord - yann tiersen
4 aruarian dance - nujabes
ummm my fifth pick is...kay so these are cheesy and old but, it's a tie between "as lovers go" by dashboard or "a lack of color" by death cab or "audience no. 2" by autolux

i tag mich (letter N), tricie (R), and erika (L)! gogogo fire in the hole!

oh and you know what i've been dreaming about all day? if i could have a superpower, i'd definitely consider the power to make the most delicious orgasmic desserts that fill people with oxytocin. cuz think how much better the world would be if everyone felt loving and mushy after eating my foods, kinda like the movie Simply Iresistible (1999) with Sarah Michelle Geller. i'd put love into my foods and it'd somehow be palpable and fill people with happiness all day and they'd remember happy memories from their childhood or fall even deeper in love with their special someone or all their loneliness will melt away and and oh it'd be so beautiful :)

off to the library with gren! i feel much better, by the way. like yesterday, on the way to the library, i was singing this song i made up that goes "Gren's so excited! Gren just can't hide it!" it could be a top40 hit if i just record it. and everyone i passed by on the sidewalk got a cheery "Hellloooo!" and everyone stopped to pet Gren that we kept missing the stoplight lol but yea this dude went out of his way to pet gren and he confided "i actually am petrified of dogs. i hate them! but for some reason this one is so sweet!" and gren sometimes just ignores bipeds, but he actually gave this guy his time of day. gren knows when to be nice to people. he also knows how to read.

jujubeantea @ 2009-06-16T21:06:00

2009-06-17T01:12:20Z

New Homely Doll To Improve Self-Image Of Young Girls

young and brave and stupid

2009-06-16T05:16:29Z

HELLO WORLD! got an oil change today, but unfortunately, anton had some devastating news that my car also needed two new engine belts and an air filter which would cost an additional $150 and it's imperative that i do this now or else i'll break down somewhere and die. but i dont even have foods to eat, much less a spare 150 in my back pocket so i was like alas, maybe another time anton.

after this news, i thought it best that i go on a road trip to rescue rob since his car broke down 4 hrs away from his house when he was upstate in the middle of nowheres. i was a little hesitant, since my ETA would be 6-7 hrs later. HOWEVER, rob managed to keep resurrecting his car every time it flatlined and he made it home. but see i had this GREAT idea to find a route to rob's house without paying any tolls (did i mention i have no money?). i left my house at 4pm. googlemaps said it would take 1hr40min. i arrived at rob's at 8pm. fantastic!

it was great, it really was, to drive through all the freakin boroughs of new york, to stop at every stoplight, to see how nassau becomes poorer into queens, into brooklyn, gets swarmed with pedestrians as it becomes manhattan, and becomes even poorer as it transitions into the bronx, and finally becomes richer into westchester. YEA. I REALLY LOVED THIS FOUR HOUR TOUR OF NEW YORK STATE. IT WAS A RARE OPPORTUNITY TO GO 15MPH FOR 42 MILES.

good news is i discovered i can drive in queens brooklyn and manhattan. and i know how to get to my sis' apt now. and my car is a trooper and didnt break down (i feel like i have a connection wiht my car, like the rider does with his dragon in eragon, do you feel the same?) and i know never to take that damn route ever again.

clippity clop clippity clop

2009-06-09T06:14:01Z

we went horse back riding today! it was awesome! but my buttbones are sore (not the horse's fault though that i dont have any cushioning) but my horse was a girl who kept stopping to eat so we would lag way behind rob and the trail guide and THEN my horse would RUN to catch up! no, not trot, not gallop, but like RUN through the woods with big strides. i thought i was ganna pull a christopher reeves there...

our guide was chill though, he wasnt supposed to let us gallop, just walk, but he was like "wanna have an adventure? ;)?" and we were like HELLYEA and gallop we'd gooooo

we were pretending to joust, throw cowboy ropes, hack heads off ala gladiator, all in all a pretty kickass day.

next time i'll bring a camera. i'd draw a pictar for y'all right now, but i'm hooked on sudoku so, ttyl :)

otterbat

2009-06-01T19:36:45Z

Took this test and it said I'm either an otter or bat.

Otter
Otters are petite, engaging creatures overflowing with positive energy. Intelligent and bright, they are also popular and eminently lovable and displaying the highly developed social skills that typify the small carnivores. So, otters mix easily with a wide range of animal personalities.

Lazy? Let's just say easily distracted. For life has so many diversions for the otter, that whether it's playing a computer game, reading a book, or doing a crossword puzzle, it's impossible to predict how it will fill it's day. But when an otter gets focused on a problem, it's keen intelligence rises to the challenge and it will not give up until the nut is cracked. Otters feel entitled to the good things in life and a general sense of well being gives them the confidence to not have to save for the future. A lover who wants to impress an otter should know that otters love to eat out and have a predictable penchant for sushi.

Although intelligent and witty, otters have a tendency to suffer from self-doubt, and fear of failure can prevent them from living up to their true potential. Still, they are a great problem solvers, with the ability to spend endless hours on abstract or practical challenges. As workers, they are dedicated and capable and always eager for a chance to prove themselves. Their determination makes them valuable employees and although they often feel that their contributions are undervalued, they would rather accept lower pay than risk confrontations in their workplace. Although they are fine motivators, they avoid taking leadership roles, performing better in group situations with their social skills coming in handy when counseling coworkers through their problems. Their dexterous hands are useful in a wide range of careers, and they're ideally suited for work in engineering, advertising, and design.

As lovers, otters are tenacious and have remarkably vital libidos. Unafraid of expressing their needs, they have little tolerance for selfish people and are attracted those creative enough to fulfill their sexual appetites. Among the aquatic animals, the lusty dolphin provides endless fun while the terrestrial fox proves to be a challenging and sexy companion. In a relationship, the otter will willingly stray into dangerous waters, betting that its instincts will see it though. But, for the most part it prefers the familiar shallows of a predictable association with the semi-aquatic beaver or sea lion.

There is no question that the otter is going to have children. Lots of them. And this otherwise carefree individual will surprise you with its strict and disciplined approach to child raising.

Otters are certainly not shy. Their highly advanced communication skills explain why friends flock to it for advice and why ex-lovers find it so hard to let it go. But sometimes it seems that relating to an otter is a one-way street; for otters hate criticism. It's not that they don't believe there's room for improvement -- it's just that they tend to confuse criticism with rejection. Friends must step lightly lest they wound the otter's self-image, for this is the surest way to dissuade the otter from further communication.

Bat
This is a decidedly nonconformist creature, for as an airborne personality, the bat tends to look down at the conventions of the ground animals. And yet, since it is not a true bird and having not mastered the art of smooth controlled flight, it often appears awkward in social situations. (Hence the term -- acting batty). But as compensation for this social ungainliness, many bat personalities sport a built-in radar, which enables them to intuitively read the motivations of others.

Identifying bat personalities is not difficult. Being nocturnal creatures, they come alive at night and can be spotted in underground clubs or dimly lit bars. They prefer the sanctuary of dark clothing and dark corners, and you'll never see a bat sporting a heavy tan. These are intelligent, spiritual, creative individuals who use their full range of senses (other than their poor eyesight) to carefully navigate their way through life.

Bats have a habit of flitting in and out of social situations, swooping down to interact briefly with others before quickly flying off to resume their bat lives. Unassertive and aloof, they'll take flight at the first hint of a confrontation to seek comfort in their personal spaces that are decorated in unusual but expressive ways. The bat's sixth sense gives it a number of advantages in its work, and its insightful nature enables it to understand others better than it understands itself.

In the romance department, bats are enamored with the idea of love more than they are with its colder realities. Decidedly untraditional, they are prone to flights of extraordinary fantasy -- and it's not the traditional Ken and Barbie type of romance that tickles its fancy either. It's the Bram Stoker kind: dark, moody and gothic.

Bat personalities have an enormous sense of loyalty and if you ever do a favor for a bat, it will never relax until it has paid you back. In fact, in nature, the bat is the only animal (other than man) to demonstrate true altruism when unrelated individuals will unselfishly offer food to a cave-mate without expectation anything in return. This powerful sense of quid pro quo is one of the defining characteristics of the bat personality and anyone should consider themselves lucky to be in a bat's good graces.
Bats have no strong yearning for parenthood, for the kind of ego gratification that comes with having one's own children doesn't appeal to its karmic temperament. They are instead quite content to satisfy their maternal or paternal instincts by adopting or merely baby-sitting. If they do have children, they prove to be perfunctory parents: methodical yet unconventional . Still, bats place great emphasis on ethics and morality and insist that their children be indoctrinated in the values of good citizenship.

Insectivores & Rodents Bat Beaver Mole Mice Porcupine Prairie Dog Shrew
Smaller Creative Thrifty Active Resilient
Cautious Small Socially Adept Bright

Herbivores Baboon Bison Cottontail Deer Elephant Giraffe Gorilla Horse Hippo M.Goat Rhino Sable Sheep Warthog Zebra
Sociable Hard working Sober Friendly Family values
Organized Reliable Methodical Conservative

Carnivores    Bear Dog Fox Dolphin Lion Tiger Otter Weasel Wildcat Wild Dog Wolf
Powerful   Optimistic   Territorial   Courageous
Athletic   Fastidious    Athletic    ExplorerLoyal

Birds    Eagle Owl Peacock Penguin Rooster Swan Vulture
Energetic Attractive   Fun Loving
Talented   Flamboyant   World Travelers

Reptiles Crocodile Snake
Artistic Creative Quick tempered
Moody Quirky Unpredictable

Genesis

2009-05-31T21:06:32Z

First, there was Grendel (aka Gren, Grenny, Grennycakes, Wolfbaby, Grendelito Guapito).

Then Jheni brought Tonka.

Finally, came the baby Rocky.

Rocky grew to be 130 lbs, got put to sleep at the age of three since he was sick.
Then Jheni got married and moved away with Tonka. He now weighs 28 lbs.
So now it's just good ol' Grenny and me. My faithful baby. We drove 1 hr away to these woods in Suffolk that allows dogs on the trails and we ended up getting lost until this nice old white man wearing plaid, riding on a horse led us back to civilization. We were hiking in turbospeed for 75 minutes! Now Gren's pooped out...I hope the walk wasn't too hard for him and his arthritis :(

birthday

2009-05-27T01:49:47Z

yesterday was such a good day, probably one of the most fun and sweetest birthdays i've had in a while. i spent it with my two loves mich and rob and first, we walked gren in the woods/lake/park place. then went to the old westbury gardens since it was SO beautiful out. i ordered my first legal drank then we hung out in my basement til 5am before crashing to sleep. what a fun sleepover lol :) really really everything was perfect

presents and birthdays and drinks and music and

2009-05-24T21:10:29Z

the vegan restaurant last night was delicious. brian and his peta friends have worked their voodoo on me and now i wanna get a vegan cookbook. i mean, yea i ate meat today, but i still wanna give this vegan cooking thing a shot.

and i've been having so much fun writing! rob has been helping a lot and we email each other the .doc and edit and add stuff and its so much fun. even if this never gets published, i think we should just write like this all summer anyway.

tomorrow im buying lots of alcohols with MY REAL ID that MATCHES the name on my CREDIT CARD. come to my house :) my goal is to make the yummiest prettiest looking drinks to celebrate my birfday. and did you know the liquor store is open on sundays? i thought there was a law or something that said liquor stores can't sell on sunday...

OY! and rob's birthday is june 2nd so i've been a busybusybee working on his presents, one of which is going to be a CD recording of my piano playing. hes a fan of classical music and piano soundscapes so i've been practicing lots of songs like moonlight sonata and yann tiersen's ivory tinklings. i hope he likes it. i mean, i feel like people don't really know how much practice goes into learning a piece. or maybe i just suck and it's just me lol

indigence

2009-05-18T18:04:16Z

since i've been home, i've been eating horrible food. as in really really bad.

because we don't have fresh ingredients here. and i don't has monies for groceries.

true, i've been making penne ala vodka everyday, but i've been using this vodka my dad bought which was really bad. and fake parmigiana cheese. and one day, i even ran out of the right noodles, so i used asian type noodles and the whole thing just tastes funky. the sauce is really good this time, but the noodles are just...wrong.

then today i made pancakes and fed the first one to gren and even HE wouldn't eat it! so clearly something was wrong. so i tried the second one and well, usually pancakes are GOOD right? i mean, these weren't BAD, but...they weren't really much of anything. then i realized why: Eggs Best Used By Apr 25.

***

in other news, i'm having cold feet about this whole hammie business. my birthday is looming ever closer and i'm afraid i won't be a good mommy to the hammie that rob's getting me as a present. what if...what if i'm a neglectful mother?!?! maybe i should just pour all my lovin on my first-born, gren. what if i'm not ready for this commitment and turn out too poor to provide a decent home with bedding!?

summer so far

2009-05-17T23:34:48Z

1. weepweep mother's day was harder than usual

2. it was nice of mich & maeve and friends to check up on me and see if i was ok. that was really sweet

3. gren and i drove to rob's house and gren was chillen with his lab millie and theyre good friends now. then my dad LET ME STAY OVER AT HIS HOUSE! what a great new precedent! probably b/c he stays over his gf's house too so how could he tell me no?

4. i make penne ala vodka every other day now.

5. if i'm good, my dad will let brian & co stay at my house for a few days :)

6. 21 soon! mich comes home today...or tmrw?! SOON!!!!

side note

2009-05-09T00:59:30Z

today i hid under rob's covers and camouflaged myself with all his shirts and jeans and stuff. he didn't see me, thanks to his roommate's devious lie that i left the room. so when he came back in, i jumped up and yelled "AHHHHHHHH!!!" unfortunately, it came out more like an "AA-OHhWWWWww!" because i hit my head on his headboard. HARD. not only was that the most failed attempt to scare someone, but now i have a ginormous bump on my head that you can actually grab.

great! :) lawl